I haven’t written in a while because in my mind I have created an insurmountable barrier of wanting to catch everyone up on a year worth of events before I continue. But as time passes by, it becomes a bigger and bigger barrier, so I’m just going to start from right now, and hopefully continue!
Since giving birth to our son, I have been drifting in and out of hopelessness and depression while staying at home and healing postpartum. My husband complained that I am always in my own world, spacing out and losing myself in thought. I felt guilty that I am not spending every awake moment talking and playing with my baby boy. And I was forever glued to my I-phone, checking on the updates of the world that understood what I was going through — the endless cloth diapering and new mama blog pages on Facebook.
Last week the Lord called me to take a Facebook fast, and an amazing thing happened. I felt more present. I WAS more present. And my depression lifted for almost the entire time. I was planning on making it a week, but my husband kindly requested that I extend it for another six days after I was done. “I want you to be happy for my birthday,” he said. Here is what happened during the fast:
* I read a book and shared the story with my husband. Now, instead of contemplating about the different varieties of cloth diapers in the privacy of my mind (oh yes, there are many!), I could discuss my thoughts with him, and hold an intelligent conversation. (Really, you couldn’t blame the man for not wanting to listen for the thousandth time about things that catch poop!)
* I realized that it’s probably not my calling to write a parenting/mommy blog and spend time promoting it on Facebook. For some reason that realization actually inspired me to write! Stress free and no strings attached, simply for the sheer pleasure of writing that I seem to have forgotten about.
*I got a lot more done around the house. It’s amazing how much time I spent browsing updates that were coming way too slow to keep me entertained.
After a week and a half of the Facebook fast I feel a lot more connected and centered. Today I finally went back on, and spend a day cleaning up my page, and un-liking hundreds of pages that wasted my valuable time. For now I feel that I should limit my time for checking things to once a day for the next few months. Who would’ve thought that Facebook is such a large contributor to feeling blue?