Psychology of a Purchase
Today I went to the store and then online, and got my baby some homeopathic gripe water, Weleda diaper rash cream that my doctor recommended, and an organic cloth diaper. I’ve wrestled with myself about buying those items pretty much since he was born, so about 5 months now. I had many reasons to stop myself from purchasing, one of which was our debt. The total purchase cost me about $50.00, and after I finally pressed “Confirm Order,” it felt like a huge weight fell of my shoulders.
This feeling was surprising, since the purchases did not constitute anything that was absolutely necessary for me to buy. We definitely have enough cloth diapers, albeit they are not the organic one I ordered and do not fit him too well at this point. I literally have a basket of Desitin and other ointments in his room. Oh, and that basket also has some tummy drops in it. Since technically I already had everything that I ordered, I expected to feel guilty for spending the $50.00, since instead I could have paid at least two bills. But I didn’t. I just felt like what I was wrestling with for 5 months didn’t have to take up space in my already busy mind any longer.
I am no psychologist, but I do think that there was a reason why it felt good to finally make those purchases.
#1. Since we just paid off our debt, $50.00 is a really small price to pay for peace of mind. I didn’t realize just how much of my energy the effort to convince myself not to buy those items took!
#2. It was empowering to make a decision. The thing is that the basket of Desitins and Colic drops were not what I decided for my child. They were gifts from well-meaning family and friends who decided that these products were right for THEIR children. And I just went along with it. Well, actually, I didn’t go along with it, because I wasn’t using those products. I just knew I should. But I didn’t want to. It was a passive aggressive thing to do (something that I am currently working on as part of my continuous character development). I kept telling myself that those were o.k., while holding myself back from admitting the truth that NO, they were NOT ok and they were NOT what I wanted to use for my baby!
#3. It felt good to give myself wiggle room to change my mind. Along the Desitins in that baby product basket was a can of Burt’s Bees Balm that I did select and received for my shower. This was probably the biggest obstacle to making my purchase, since I actually chose it and it was cloth diaper safe. But after using it a few times I really disliked how it smelled and how it felt. Besides, it didn’t seem to make things better for my baby boy. But since I already had it, I couldn’t allow myself to venture out and get something else. Having the courage to finally do it felt great!
#4. I can now declutter all the other balms and drops. I think I will pay it forward and give some away to my family and friends with babies, if they want them. I will use the basket that currently holds them for storage in my closet, which can use a cleaner looking top shelf.
I can’t believe this purchase had so much significance behind it. Extremely glad to finally get this off my mind!